


Sixty Minutes

by mikochan_noda, peonydee



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Actual Parody of Fandom, Early Adults, F/M, Gen, Hamilton Musical references, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Interrogator Alya, Lots of Shout-outs to the ML Fandom, Mild Cursing, No one might recover, References to other fandoms too, Reveal, SCREAMS BECAUSE THIS WAS SUCH A RIDE, Shipping wars, fangirling, it is hurt and comfort if that happens to u, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-16 10:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7265314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikochan_noda/pseuds/mikochan_noda, https://archiveofourown.org/users/peonydee/pseuds/peonydee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alya Césaire, award-winning pursuer of truth, is honored with an intimate interview with Ladybug and Chat Noir. However, she doesn't count on finding out certain things that are making her regret asking in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, a collaboration fic! The entire story is also done, but we’re going to post the next installment every week. Hope you enjoy reading!

“I'm really sorry I can't be there tonight,” Marinette repeats as Alya is saying goodbye to her on the phone. “But you know how Father gets. Catch you at the afterparty, all right?”

“Marinette, please,” Alya says. “As if I haven't gotten used to your fickle luck all these years. Maybe they'll stick around for the party and you’ll finally meet Ladybug.”

“Fingers crossed.”

Alya takes a calming breath and one last look at the mirror. Finally satisfied, she heads for the set, the set from where the tenth anniversary special of her web series is about to stream worldwide.

 _Alya’s Take_ started as a segment of the Ladyblog, the receptacle of research, pictures, videos, analyses, and even theories she had collected and developed involving Paris’s very own superhero duo, Ladybug and Chat Noir. What started as 15-30 minute analysis of akuma fights developed into more of a bi-weekly talk show that covered other issues relevant to the greater Metro Paris. Both the show and blog served as the perfect portfolio for her admission to prestigious journalism schools, internships, and her eventual hire in a national news agency. For the past two years, _Alya’s Take_ has also been a ten-minute segment of a daily morning show on a major local channel. The bi-weekly web series, meanwhile, expands on some particular topic, featuring expert opinions and first-hand accounts from invited guests. They are pre-recorded and admittedly in part subject to her agency’s influences, but it is well-respected for pursuing tough questions, while showcasing balanced and opposing viewpoints.

But in the anniversary special _Alya’s Take_ is returning to its roots, informally formatted and non-scripted, streaming live from the _Le Grand Paris_. Admittedly, Alya’s first instinct was to turn down Chloé Bourgeois’s offer to shoot the episode in her father’s hotel, but the nostalgia factor is too important to dismiss. Many akumas have been fought and defeated in and on the luxurious building (which probably has to do with Chloé’s singular talent in enraging people), so Alya set aside her personal feelings and accepted. After all, she wants only the best for her special guests, the superhero duo themselves, the cornerstone of her very career, Ladybug and Chat Noir.

Naturally, she has chosen a place that would be more comfortable for the superduo: high altitudes and open air. Booking the Eiffel Tower as venue is impossible, but the hotel’s penthouse poolside is a perfect second choice, as they will be surrounded by the bustle of the metropolis they served. The bright blue waters against the LED lights also offers a stupendous backdrop for the third rear camera.  

The silken parasols that serve as beach umbrellas and the inclined lounges have been cleared, replaced by a set of cushioned patio chairs and a table laden with decanters of red and white from Chloé’s personal vintage cellar and plates of hors d’oeuvres. Chloé, with all her natural imperiousness, is directing the hapless set production assistants to cater to her needs, much to the place manager’s annoyance.

Alya’s small audience are sitting on folding chairs arranged before the patio set: her mother has traded her chef’s whites for a maroon, knee-length dress, while her siblings are suited up sharply, already fidgeting on their mobiles as they wait for the other guests. About twenty lucky winners of a lottery are also afforded seats, mobiles at hand and jittery from excitement, even after being cowed to whispers by a classic Chloé tirade. Nino is seated nearest at the balustrade, adjacent to Alya’s chair. And bless him, he is actually wearing a crisp dress shirt and slacks instead of his usual loose tees and denims, has replaced his tacky orange headphones with a classy Bluetooth earpiece. With a reflexive nod to his caller, he says his goodbyes, plucks off the earpiece, and briskly walks to her.

“Pretty Boy can't make it either,” he says.

“Sorry,” Alya sighs. ”I forgot to tell you. I’ve already called him.”

“Nah, it’s okay.” He gives her a wry grin, before wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “I was double-checking, might change his mind, you know?”

“Have you seen his photos from the NY Fashion Week? He just arrived home, and from what I’ve heard, already swamped with appointments to the hilt. Not to mention, his class load for this semester will deliver him to an early grave. I’d rather have him asleep right now than risk his life with all of this excitement.”

“Yes, I know you mean well, Mommy Alya. But it’s probably killing him even more to have to miss this. A behind-the-scenes VIP pass for an hour-long _Ladybug and Chat Noir_ exclusive? Poor guy, he just couldn’t catch a break.”

“I’ll give Adrien a shout-out. Maybe that’ll ease his anguished soul in passing.”

“Alya, you do know that you’re the best, don't you?”

“If he survives the emotional aneurysm he'd suffer for what I have in mind, then yes, I am the best, thank you. Now hush, get back to your seat or the queen bee will sting you.”

“You’re just going to gloat over your feed.”

“Of course, I’ve got five minutes before they arrive. Need to know what the people are saying.”  
  


And as soon as she clicks the #alyas_take on the top trends list, a cresting wave of capslocked, incoherent words start to rise on her dash.And because it’s a sort of tradition before her shows, Alya posts her last update before the interview starts-- a brief message to sate and satisfy the thirsty masses waiting for her tweet.

Two minutes in and ten replies on her post later, Alya hears it: that unmistakable sound of a taut wire pulled back and a metal baton hitting against marble. Both spectators and staff cry with delight when their long-awaited guests of honor finally arrive.  

“ _Salut!_ ” Ladybug waves to her now-standing audience, before putting her hands on her hips and looking them over with that proud, confident gaze. Chat Noir, on the other hand, is making a show of twirling his retracting baton, before joining his partner in greeting Alya’s entourage.

“Nice of you to drop by, Ladybug.” Alya steps forward, arms open.

“Likewise, Alya.” She is engulfed by the sweet smell of fresh muguet blossoms as Ladybug responds to her embrace with a quick _faire la bise_ , softly pecking both of her cheeks. “It’s always a pleasure to be here.”

“It’s a great night for an interview, Mademoiselle Césaire.” Chat Noir bends a little from his waist and kisses her knuckles. One slitted eye winks, as his clawed paw gestures to the horizon. “A _claw_ less sky, a bright gibbous _meow_ n up in the east, with good _fur_ d and wonderful com _paw_ ny.”

“I see you’re on top of your game tonight, Chat.” Alya widens her smile.  “I hope you can still spare us a few more puns to entertain us till the end of the show.”

However, Ladybug groans at the possibility of a pun-filled evening. “And here I thought you’ll be too exhausted to think of puns on the way here.”

“My Lady,” Chat puts a hand over his chest in mock offense. “We mustn't disappoint our host and her faithful followers! My puns are brilliant crowd pleasers.”

“Everything’s ready to go.”  Alya motions them to their waiting seats, as the crowd settles down. “Let’s get this ball rolling, shall we?”

“And...three, two, one.”

The 25-second introductory jingle of her show automatically straightens her spine.

“Bug-outs, Chats, and Miraculers! _Salut!_ This is your one and only Alya Césaire, and we are live, from Grand Le Paris Hotel, for our special 10th anniversary of _Alya’s Take_. Tonight, we’re having my first and favorite featured guests of this show.” The camera pans to the smiling pair, “Paris very own guardians and peacekeepers, the Miraculous Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

 **Ice Breaker/General Questions** :

“All right,” Alya says. “It's been awhile since the three of us have been together for a relaxed conversation. Why don’t we start with some ice breakers?”

The two heroes assent. Chat Noir waves to the audience in response to their enthusiastic cheers.

 **Alya (A):** “Vanilla or chocolate?”  
**Ladybug (LB):** “Chocolate.”  
**Chat Noir (CN):** “Vanilla.”

 **A:** “Sunrise or Sunset?"  
**CN :** "Sunset."  
**LB :** "Sunrise."

Chat Noir smirks at Ladybug’s response. “That explains things,” he says.

The black-suited hero suddenly twitches in surprise---has Alya just missed seeing Ladybug kick him under the table?---and hastily amends his statement.

“I mean, you're such a go-getter and all that. Early worm, early bird.”

Ladybug seems satisfied with the more G-rated answer. “I always rise with the sun, Chat,” she says.

 **A:** "Red or Blue?"  
**LB:** "Red.”  
**CN:** "Blue."

 **A:** “Favorite season?"  
**LB** : "Spring and Summer."  
**CN :** "Fall.”

 **A:** “Marvel or DC?”  
**LB :** “DC.”  
**CN :** (looking affronted) “MARVEL!”

 **A:** “Favorite Disney movie?”  
**LB:** “Beauty and the Beast.”  
**CN:** “Lion King.”  
**A:** “Is it the song numbers, Chat?”  
**LB:** “I bet it's the Macbeth throwback.”  
**CN:** “Both actually. And Hamlet. You know me so well!”

 **A:** “Favorite Non-Disney movie?”  
**LB:** “Anastasia.”  
**CN:** “How to Train Your Dragon.”

Alya thinks she saw Ladybug hide a smile at this, but when she glances back, the heroine’s face is back to its polite neutrality.

 **A:** “What are three things you can't leave home without?”  
**LB :** “Phone, makeup kit, pins.”  
**CN :** “Phone, prescription glasses, sunscreen.”  
**A :**  “Sunscreen?”  
**CN:** “I burn easily. I turn tomato red first, then peel, then turn half a shade darker if I'm lucky.”  
**LB:** “I've always wondered if your mask’s eyepiece were prescription, too.”  
**CN:** “Probably not. My near-sightedness is probably offset by my cat sense, sans lens.”  
**A:** “Cat sense, sans lens?”  
**LB:** “Oh god, he's starting. Don't encourage him, Mlle. Césaire.”

 **A:** “Let's go back to movies. You're in a horror movie. Who dies first?”  
**LB:** “Chat.”  
**CN:** “Me.”  
**LB:** “From fright?”  
**CN:** “From innocence.”

Alya tries to stifle a snort at that; Ladybug doesn't try at all.

 **A:** “You're in an action movie. Who is the lead?”  
**CN :** “Ladybug.”  
**LB :** “But you're my co-star. Can't have one without the other.”  
**CN:** “Aww, that's awfully sweet of you, my lady.”  
**LB:** “The night is still young.”

 **A:** “In a spy thriller, who is the one to first betray you?”  
**LB :** (smirking) “I betray Chat first.”  
**CN :** “Unfortunately.”  
**LB:** “I told you the night is still young.”  
**CN:** “You don't have to enjoy it so much.”  
**LB:** “There's got to be something in it for me in this partnership.”

 **A:** “What type of romance movie are you?”  
**CN :** “Slice of life type?” (looks to LB for her opinion)  
**LB :** “Nah, I think we're gonna be a sitcom.”  
**CN:** “So you're the straight man and I'm the useless eye candy?”  
**LB:** “One minute of shirtless eyecandy earns millions in box office, you know.”  
**CN:** “Is that some sort of request?”  
**LB:** “Down, kitty. I was talking about Thor, obviously.”  
**CN:** “Thor isn't a sitcom.”  
**LB:** “And we're not a romantic action-adventure.”  
**CN:** “....”

Alya can't help but guffaw at that. “Ladybug, you're on a roll!” the journalist says.

“Thank you,” Ladybug demurs.

“I think the ice is definitely broken now.”

“Something is. Some _things_ are.”

“My lady!” Chat Noir protests with mock indignation. “Please don't make jokes about neutering stray cats.”

“I'm just warming up, Chaton.”

“Perfectionist.”

“Let's move on to slightly harder questions, shall we?” Alya says.

 **Life/Philosophical** **Questions** :

“We know you're both very careful with your and each other’s civilian identity,” Alya introduces the next batch of question. “For good reason. We respect that. For now, consider most of the following questions hypothetical.”

“Thank you,” Ladybug says.

“Bring it,” Chat Noir says.

 **A:** "It's been a few years, like I said, since we last sat together. You probably have pets now. What kind of pets do you have right now? And what kind do you want to adopt next?"  
**LB :** "I...have a cat." (laughs) But as I've said in previous interviews, I still want hamsters."  
**CN :** "I can't understand you and your fixation with hamsters. But I'd probably want a...tarantula?"  
**LB :** "See, this is why I will never want to socialize with you in real life."  
**CN :** "COME ON THEY ARE COOLER THAN YOUR HAMSTERS.”  
**LB:** “My hamsters aren't venomous.”  
**CN:** “That's discriminating against cool animals.”  
**LB:** “You’re probably allergic to their hairs.”  
**CN:** “The hamsters’ or the spiders’?”  
**LB:** “Everything.”  
**CN:** “.... I _cat_ deny that.”  
**LB:** Urgh.

 **A:** “One word to describe your civilian self.”  
**LB :** "Clumsy."  
**CN :** "Shy.”

 **A:** “A talent or skill that your partner doesn’t know you are good at?”  
**LB:** “Calligraphy.”  
**CN :** “Writing poetry”  
**LB :** (puts a hand under her chin) “Hm.”  
**CN :** (turns and looks at LB) ”What do you mean, ‘Hm’?   
**LB :** (only looks at CN, dubious)  
**CN :** “Are you doubting me?”  
**LB :** “I supposedly don’t know this skill, so I can’t answer this, can I?”  
**CN :** (kitten pout)  
**LB :** ”Look, Chat. You’re terrible at puns. Poetry?”  
**A:** “She does have a point.”  
**CN :** (mutters) “What good is gorgeous calligraphy if you can’t even read the characters.”

 **A:** “What is the greatest pun Chat has ever delivered?"  
**LB :** "I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. They are all horrible."  
**CN :** "Not even ‘will you mew-’ "  
**LB :** ”I threw you off the roof for that one, chaton.”  
**A:** "Fine. The question is actually, what is his worst pun?"  
**LB:** “Pass.”  
**CN:** ”I’m intrigued. Care to tell?”  
**LB:** “No.”  
**A:** “What is it?”  
**LB:** “Feline-in-heat, my Lady?”  
**A:** “… I'm somewhat regretting asking that question.”  
**CN:** “And I'm sensing some sort of collusion between you two here.”  
**LB:** “No need to be paranoid, Chat.”

 **A:** “A villain throws the following celebrities off a cliff and you can only save one. You can’t cheat. We know you will save both in real life, but given the following names, tell me who you’ll save first.”

 **LB:** “Go ahead.”  
**CN:** “I’m ready.”  
  
**A:** “Marion Cotillard or Léa Seydoux?”  
**LB:** “Léa Seydoux.”  
**CN:** “Marion Cotillard.”

 **A:** “Christopher Nolan or Joss Whedon?”  
**LB:** “Christopher Nolan.”  
**CN:** ” Neither. Let them plummet to their deaths.”  
**LB:** “I thought you liked Buffy?”  
**CN:** “He retconned the adult Buffy.  And I don’t trust anyone who just ignored Natasha’s capabilities and the importance of her relationship to Bucky.”  
**A:** “Ah, I remember. Chat loves star-crossed romances. So he betrayed your BuckyNat?”  
**CN:** “He betrayed himself.”

 **A:** “Alya Césaire or Nadja Chamack?”  
**LB:** “I’ll save you first, Alya.”  
**CN:** “Then I’ll catch Mdm. Chamack?”  
**A:** “Are you cheating?”  
**CN:** “No, you cheated first. And this is called teamwork. LB gets her first pickings, and I’ll get the other one.”

 **A:** “Lastly, Adrien Agreste or Jagged Stone?”  
**LB & CN:** (simultaneously yelling together) “Jagged Stone!”

Both of them pause, then quickly turn to look at each other.

 **CN:** “Wait, what? I thought you like Adrien Agreste, LB?”

 **A:** “You do, Ladybug?”  
**LB:** “I went through a phase of idolizing him, like many people. But as much as I admire him, Adrien Agreste can probably save himself.”  
**A:** “It’s well-known that Mr. Agreste has a celebrity crush on you, Ladybug. You just crushed the poor man’s heart without even a second thought. How could you?”  
**LB:** “Mr. Agreste is a champion fencer and a hands-on physicist. He can think himself a plan out of that situation.”

 **A:** ”Wait, how do you even know for sure that he can save himself?”

 **LB:** "I've had to protect his father from an akuma once. He has like a jungle gym on steroids in his home. Unlike Jagged Stone, forgive me, who’s probably suffering from a frail constitution and brittle bones, he probably has trainers controlling his muscle bulk and all that with the appropriate strength and endurance training.”

 **CN:** “I remember that akuma attack very well, My Lady. He was only a kid back then… Fine, I'll concede that being beautiful isn't easy and that he probably works hard to keep his physique. Still, Mr. Agreste’s bones might survive the fall, but his spirit certainly wouldn't.”

 **LB:** “Monsieur Agreste will live.” (winks at the camera, then blows a kiss) He’ll have the entirety of Metro Paris to comfort him. He’ll recover.”

 **CN:** “As if I don't know about your jealous streak, My lady. Do you really want to give him away?"

A: “Here is the recent feed from your answers.:”  
  
  
  


**A:** “We also have questions from our viewers, from the _ladyblog.tumblr.com_. Oh! I like this. Who’s-who Couple questions.”

 

 

 **LB:** “Couple questions?”  
**CN:** “It’s a meme for their one true pairings?”

 **A:** “Yes. They are asking, between the two of you, who does the dishes?”  
**LB:** “Both.”

 **A:** “The blanket hog?”  
**LB:** “Depends on the weather, but we both take up the blankets.”

 **A:** “Who cooks?”  
**CN:** “LB is the better cook, but I can cook as well.”

 **A:** “Your answers are very vague. You’re not living together? ”  
**LB:** “No.”

 **A:** “Wait. Are you dating?”  
**LB:** “We can’t do that.”  
**CN:** “I might kid around, but I follow my lady’s wishes for professionalism seriously.”

 **A:** "I guess. But what do you think you'll do first once you know who's behind the mask?"  
**CN :** "Go out on a date?" (wiggles brows)  
**LB :** "I might have a boyfriend, Chat. Or a spouse."  
**CN :** "You’re breaking my heart, my lady."

 **A :** "But seriously? What’s the first thing you’ll do?"  
**CN:** (smirks) “She’ll freak out.”  
**LB:** “I would not!”

**A:** “Happiest day of your life to date? Ok, if not to date, your fervent wish on how it would go.”

 **LB:** "Probably my dream wedding then. It’s a much larger event than I ever thought it would be, but that surprisingly doesn't bother me. My dress will have an unfinished hem that I hope no one notices and no one does. The flower girl almost trips on a Chat Noir doll. My groom, poor thing, will have an allergic reaction to the incense the sacristan had lit just behind him and his eyes are all red and his nose runny but he looks so happy as I walk down the aisle and everything else doesn't matter and everything happens as they ought to."

 **A:** ”That was....very specific.”

 **LB:** “Well, I did dream about my dream wedding thousands of times. I'd know all the details.”

Alya turns to prompt Chat Noir for his response to the same question, but he is looking at his partner with something unreadable in his eyes. Is he about to cry? For some reason---all right, Alya knows exactly for what reason---she feels her chest constrict with a dull, nagging ache. Her instincts tell her that a push in the right direction might release a deluge of information and that she should probe more in the direction of Ladybug’s wedding---future? recent? Alya just can't process the possibility at that moment that what Ladybug hinted at earlier might be true. That she is already married.

But it is so obvious that Chat isn't ready to answer… which is exactly why she should attack his flank while his guard is down.

 **A:** “So Chat Noir, about Ladybug’s-- Chat? Are you okay?”

 **CN:** “Uh, yeah, I might have just inhaled a clump of tree pollen or something--” (coughs and drinks some water) “I'm more than okay.”

Alya glances at her producer, who is gesturing wildly with his phone and miming small explosions with his hand against his temple. The viewers, evidently, are _not_ okay.  
  


  
  
**A:** “Speaking of thousands, one of the popular theories about you is that you’re a very old soul, reborn each time you're needed. Which would then mean you’re already millennia-old, Miss Ladybug. If so, what is your favorite time period? This question applies to Chat as well.”

 **CN:** “I’m thinking I’d like a very specific time in history. For example, I dunno, the first time they used a fire-based propulsive mechanism on a projectile weapon. Or when Kepler made up his three laws of planetary motion. Or Baroque era, so I can yell at Bach for all the trouble he gave me.”

 **LB:** “Belle Epoque for me.”

 **CN:** “Wow. That's actually darkly romantic, my lady. A socio-cultural apex before the sudden plunge of the World Wars.”

 **LB:** “I was mostly thinking of the art scene.”

 **CN:** “Oops?”

 **A:** “Actually, Chat’s unexpected flair for the starkly realistic is a good segue into our next submitted question.

**A:** “[@wild_niki](http://archiveofourown.org/users/NikitaHawkeye/pseuds/NikitaHawkeye) asks, ‘Are you willing to sacrifice the other for the good of many?’”

 **CN:** “No, I can never do that. I will never willingly sacrifice one life for another. And if there’s no other choice, I’d probably die first before that happens.”

 **LB:** “You basically answered yes, chaton--just that you’ll sacrifice yourself, going by the assumption that I’d be able to neutralize the threat by myself after you die.”

 **CN:** “Well, realistically speaking, can you let me die for the greater good?”

 **LB:** “I don't know. Who can even decide what the greater good is?”

 **CN:** “I don't think anyone can know what they'll do in such a situation, but you should be prepared to make the necessary sacrifice. We will do what we need to do, and be prepared for that possibility as best we can.”

 **LB:** “I personally think there will always be a third choice, that allowing yourself to be railroaded into just two decision points is like fighting with your back to the wall, defensive tactics, that you should have done everything to avoid that point. But if we must make a choice, I trust Chat will do the right thing and I can only hope I do the same.”

It takes Alya a few moments to react after Ladybug falls silent. The conversation feels full of old well-worn arguments the heroic duo have exchanged plenty of times before. With the sort of responsibility they have, Alya supposes it is only to be expected that they've already considered what they should do in case certain dilemmas arise.

“Well,” Alya says. “That was pretty intense. And actually yet another excellent segue into our next topic, hero life. Why don't we take a short break before we start with the next batch of questions?”


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: Alya is dead (?)

The moment the cameras stop rolling, Ladybug excuses herself to go to the bathroom. As soon as she leaves, Chat Noir pounces for the tuna canapés the waiter finally succeeds in placing at the table. The feline crime fighter tosses back the delicately constructed table crackers and aioli-topped dollops of seared tuna into his mouth, one after the other. He grins sheepishly at Alya in between swallows, but doesn't stop munching until his partner comes back.

“I thought you said you ate before you got here, Chat?” Ladybug says coolly.

“I did,” Chat Noir says. “I just got hungry again.”

Ladybug simply huffs and returns to her seat beside Chat Noir, as he looks longingly at the plate of roast beef sliders dotted with horseradish sauce. Alya tries to concentrate on looking through her Twitter feed, noting the jump of hashtag mentions from the last time the producer pulled up the feed on screen for the viewers to see. Ladybug’s dream wedding is causing quite a commotion.  
  
  


As Alya submerges herself deeper down the bowels of her panicking dashboard, her nerves start rattling more as well.  
  
She feels it in her bones. She is going to stumble onto something important tonight.  
  
It is all laid out in their body language, she thinks, inconspicuously darting her gaze from her tablet to where the superheroes continue to discuss Chat Noir's seemingly boundless appetite. The banter is still laced with nicknames and puns, but they are keeping a certain distance between themselves.  
  
Not only that, Chat Noir is unusually reserved tonight. As far as Alya can remember of their past interviews, he usually performs some tricks with his staff for the benefit of the on-scene audiences. Ladybug is distracted, continually shooting glances at her partner, worried. Has something happened?  
  
“Is everything alright?” Alya asks the both of them. “Do you need anything? Cookies? More of the cheese?” She remembers the odd requests they have made in the past whenever they asked for refreshments, their reprieve after their hard work of saving the day.  
  
“We’re good, Alya.” Chat’s downtrodden frown upturns instantly. “Just had a busy day.”  
  
Ladybug absentmindedly reaches for Chat’s head and pats it comfortingly.  
  
It’s the first time Alya saw Ladybug initiate a gesture of affection with Chat Noir. Long ago, when they first started working together, the two never stop moving around, even when not chasing after some akuma. Chat Noir is always toying with his insectoid prey, while Ladybug is always dodging the big cat’s advances. After long years of familiarity, Ladybug started accepting brief gestures, a fond pat here, a gruff hug there. But never has Alya seen Ladybug performing said acts on Chat Noir. It's always the other way around.  
  
“Then we better finish the show as soon as possible, don’t we?”  
  
“No, we really don’t mind!” Chat Noir protests, jumping nimbly to his feet. "I can catch up on rest later. No big deal."  
  
"I'll try to make 'later' come as soon as possible then," Alya assures him. "We should be rolling again in a couple of minutes."

**Hero Life Questions:**

**A:** “Are you happy with your dayjob?”

 **LB:** “Yes.”  
  
**CN:** “Yes.”

  
**A:** “As Ladybug and Chat Noir, your weapons are a yoyo and a staff respectively. What is your weapon of choice for your daily work?”

 **LB:** “Aside from coffee?”  
  
**A:** “That’s a potion, not a weapon.”  
  
**CN:** “More like a life-saving elixir. But I’ll go for my demigod looks that have once or twice even inspired jealousy from the Mediterranean sun itself?”

 **LB:** “That's a negative attribute that persists even after boss fights or KOs. There is no cure for it.”

 **CN:** “That's why I've learned to use it to my advantage.”

 **LB:** “Such a tomcat. Fine, my weapon of choice would be a pencil.”

 **A:** “And such a Ladybug answer. A pencil?”

 **LB:** “It’s a good tool for making plans. Drafts. Last minute changes. Emergency kindling. Impromptu stabbing material.”

 **A:** “So Normal Ladybug wins against Normal Chat Noir?”

 **CN:** “I don’t know? Ladybug might be too distracted with my looks, enough to buy me some time to steal her pencil?”

 **LB:** “Maybe? As long as you don’t open your mouth to spout a victory pun? If you do, I might tear you apart with my bare hands in frustration.”

 **CN:** “I get your point, My Lady.”

 **LB:** (scowls) “Can I borrow a pencil right now?”

**A:** “I’m going to intervene before this escalates to bloodshed. Choose: Your day job or being a superhero?”

 **LB :** “Day job.”

 **CN:** (hesitates) “...Superhero.”

 **A:** “I remember you telling me that being Chat Noir frees you.”

 **CN:** “My alter ego is expected to please a lot of people in fairly rigid ways. Thankfully, everyone is more lenient toward this stray cat.”

**A:** “From [@meow_catlus](http://archiveofourown.org/users/teal_teacups), probably a Chat Noir fan, a question for the both of you.”  
  


**A:** “Let's start with the first part: what is the hardest part about being a superhero?”

 **CN:** “There’s the obvious. When lives are at stake, there's very little room for failure.”

 **LB:** “If at all.”

 **CN:** “If at all. To tell the truth, I think in some ways it was easier when we were younger. It's easier to play into the illusion that you're invincible, that sheer will can see you through.”

 **LB:** “I think it's more of having more faith rather than feeling invincible. Believing that everything will turn out right. Now, I think we--I am---more prone to being racked by what-ifs. We’re wiser, but less spontaneous, I guess. So it evens out, and we still get our job done, but somehow the burden feels heavier.”

 **CN:** “We have more things to protect to now---at least, I do and my lady has hinted as much herself. I think that makes it more difficult to think about worst-case scenarios now, because both of us have or will have more things at stake. There are a lot of things I used to take for granted.”

 **LB:** “Your personal safety for one?”

 **CN:** “Yes, _our_ personal safety, Miss Pot-Calling-the-Kettle-Black.”

 **LB:** “Essentially, we’re not really our own persons. We are pledged to Paris, so every connection we make is yet another flank we have to protect.”

 **CN:** “How big of a piece of ourselves are we allowed to keep as ours? When deciding to share our lives, do we even have enough of it left to promise to another person? It's a constant struggle.”

 **A:** “So being a private citizen is the hardest part of being a superhero?”

 **LB:** “Being a person. Being a normal human underneath the superhero mask.”

 **CN:** “And staying human.”

 **A:** “Staying human under superhuman duress.”

 **LB:** “Yes.”

 **CN:** “In summary.”  
  
**A:** “Now the second part of the question.”

 **LB:** “No, I can't quit being Ladybug.”

 **CN:** “I can't quit being Chat either, not until I'm no longer needed.”

 **A:** “How do you know when? How would you recognize the point when you're no longer needed?”

 **LB & CN:** “We probably won't. ”

 **A:** “Final answer?”

 **LB:** “We’ll never quit.”

 **CN:** “Until we have to, you mean, from old age or something.”

**  
Alya Is Intrigued and Wants to Go Back to Are You Married Questions**

(like are you for _freaking_ real not really married my ladynoir can't have sunk):

 **A:** “I don't want to pry, but I’m curious.”

 **CN:** “You’re _always_ curious. The question is, what statement piqued your curiosity?”

 **A:** “Ladybug said earlier, _every connection we make is yet another flank we have to protect._ Given that more or less, your ages are on the cusp of early adulthood, it would certainly be natural for you to have considered starting permanent, personal commitments now or in the future.”

 **LB:** “We have.”

 **CN:** “Of course.”

 **A:** “Haven't we ventured into this topic before? Five years ago, Ladybug denied any possibility of seriously going steady with anyone, saying that she would like to finish her studies, pursue a stable career, and get a decent apartment first.”

 **CN:** “She’s always been goal-oriented, though I have also heard back then that she was not completely opposed to dating.”

 **LB:** (straight-faced) “You were probably hanging on every word I said when Alya grilled me about having an existing love life.”

 **CN:** “If I remember it correctly, you said ' _I like someone in my real life, but we’ve just started becoming good friends. I can't ask for anything more right now. A relationship with me is equivalent to a life filled with secrets and risks._ ‘”

Alya feels her pulse quicken upon seeing the fond, contemplative expression on Chat Noir’s face. He seems to be deep in his memories, gazing at an unseen and distant past, his usually slitted pupils dilated enough to make them look quite round and quite human.

“That still holds true,” Ladybug admits, returning Chat’s gaze with a rueful smile. “Parts of it, anyway.”

A wild hope surges through Alya. She looks away, fiddling with her phone browser to distract herself, quickly finding what she needs.

Even as Alya skims the past interview Chat Noir was referring to, she wonders which part of Ladybug’s previous statement has changed.

“And Chat Noir has indeed cited his Lady’s statement verbatim from a Valentines special five years ago,” Alya says. “Now on thinking back to your responses to previous questions, I feel like some things have changed. Ladybug herself just confirmed it right now, admitting only parts of her statement from five years ago hold true.”

Her follow-up question is next on the tip of her tongue when _Chat Noir_ \--

“What changed now, My Lady? What was different then?”

\-- beats her to it.

Now as the official interviewer of this show, Alya is supposed to be miffed at this faux pas, but with this current development, where he is entirely focused on that spotted mask, his leather tail slowly undulating in lazy curls, she doesn’t have the heart to interfere.

It seems that she isn’t the only one who felt it, how the atmosphere thickened, as they waited for Ladybug to answer.

“Chat mentioned,” Ladybug says, at first hesitant. “Chat mentioned how when he was---when we were younger, we tended to take some things for granted.”

“Yes,” Alya says. “And you mentioned that you worry more now, but at least you’re wiser.”

“I used to take time for granted. It just seemed like I never have time to do everything I wanted, but at the back of my mind, I always think, there's always next time. Do it tomorrow. Do it next week. It's too risky right now. There would be a better opportunity.”

“But?”

“But the worrying that comes with the wisdom of experience asks, ‘ _What if there's no next time?_ ’”

“My lady,” Chat murmurs. To comfort her? To express his empathy? His agreement? Alya isn't sure. His green-visored eyes are still intent on Ladybug’s eyes, which were still their striking blue but somehow murky, like overcast skies.

“Trusting your partner. Finding balance. Learning to find common ground and growing from differences. Treasuring the past and present but not holding them hostage from the future. I learned countless lessons while working with Chat Noir, while being Ladybug. Many of them made me realize that there are so many things that can go wrong in the course of even the most ordinary day. The only thing we can all do is live.”

“And it's either we crouch tinily in a hole, waiting till everything is safe,” finishes Chat Noir with a fierce grin. “Or live in the now, paws and tails splayed out in action, no muscle unused.”

“No muscle unused.” Ladybug returns her partner’s grin just as fiercely. “Including the heart.”

  
  
Alya intently watches Chat’s face, making eye contact with the director as she does and tilting her head slightly towards Chat. The director gives her an a-ok gesture. They've worked together for so long so she isn't really worried about his choices. He'll understand why she is so antsy about some of the questions. She’ll bet her site traffic he is antsy about the same ones she is.

“So about that fine gentleman friend who had caught your eye so long ago,” Alya asks, “Did you ever find the time to take your chance on him?”

Chat Noir starts snickering, as if knowing exactly what transpired. Ladybug glares at him, but Alya can see the points of her ears turn rosy, the skin beneath her mask stain pink. Chat tries to stifle his laughter with both hands, but only manages to turn it into a blubbering sound that only makes the red on Ladybug’s face become as intense as her costume.

“It was a bit of a disaster honestly,” Chat finally answers for her, once he catches his breath.

Ladybug punches his arm in mock rage.

“Won't you tell us about it?” Alya appeals to Ladybug’s indignant face at first then to the Chat-got-cream one beside her.

Chat shakes his head. “Sorry, Ms. Césaire. I wouldn't want to get _paw_ nished for spinning _claw_ nish _tails_.”

Ladybug merely groans and palms her face.

“It didn’t work out?” Alya couldn’t suppress her smile.

Ladybug shakes her head once.

“Well, it’s his loss.” Alya consoles with a nod. “He missed out on becoming Ladybug’s beau. Though he might have just dodged that bullet, knowing he’s got Chat as a competitor for your affections.”

“I don’t think I would’ve won against him,” Chat says, shaking his head as well. “Besides, they just… had a conflict of interest. Not like they didn't like each other enough. It's quite a story how it all turned out, but it’s not my story to tell, right, My Lady?”

“And I think I’m not ready to tell it yet.” Ladybug presses the heel of her palm to her forehead. With a sigh, she pleads to her host. “Alya, please?”

With that, Alya took pity on her and moved on to the next item.

 **A:** "So is it safe to say that more or less you've reached a stable point in your career?"

 **LB:** “I believe so. I'm happy in my niche where I have the opportunity to steadily grow in my field.”

 **A:** “Chat?”

 **CN:** “I’m in the midst pursuing another path, since I’ve already reached the peak of my first calling.”

 **A:** “At such a prodigious age?”

 **LB:** (dryly) “I wish I could say he's lying.”

 **CN:** “It's not a very secure place, the top, so I'm taking a page from my lady’s book and looking for something more sedate.”

  
**A:** “Do you have any plans to have a family of your own?”

 **LB:** “Yes.”

 **CN:** “Yup.”  
  
**A:** “Big family or a small one?”

 **LB:** “A big one.”

 **A:** “That was quick. Chat?”

 **CN:** (chokes) “...Big?”

 **A:** “How many kids?”

 **LB:** “Three.”

 **CN:** “.......”

 **A :** "Chat?”

 **CN:** “Ah...I'm sorry. Yeah, Three or four kids would be nice?”

 **A:** “You don't have to have the same number of kids, you know. Are you trying to pair off your kids into couples?”

 **CN:** “Was it that obvious I was just copying my lady’s answer because I'm not sure yet?”  
  
**A:** “Wouldn’t that be hard, Ladybug? You’ve got your jobs, patrol, and now you say you want a passel of kids?”

 **LB:** “I grew up as an only child, see. I would love for my child to have siblings.”

 **A:** “Ah, I remember you telling me that before. And you, Chat?”

 **CN:** “Want to take a guess, Mlle. Césaire?”

 **A:** “I’d think you have a big family of closely aged siblings and cousins.”

 **LB:** (snorts) “With the way he carries on? How about a whole school’s worth?”

 **CN:** “A school sounds about right. (laughing) Anyway, we’ve had a lot of practice multitasking.”

 **LB:** “Not to mention, lots of loving support from a tight-knit family.”

 **CN:** “Definitely.”

Alya can only imagine the havoc their conversation is causing among the heroic duo’s fans. Both Ladybug and Chat Noir have both been trying to play along her opening interview rules, that they can choose to speak hypothetically when answering some questions, but they have both been dropping too many hints themselves, whether from a genuine compulsion for honesty or from the effects of Chloé’s vintage wines. Even the issue of children sounds like something the partners have discussed in the past. Maybe, Alya thought, her LadyNoir comrades might still have a chance.

Alright, Alya decides, she is going to give them one more baiting question and if they bite…. She will have no choice but to clarify their answer.

 **A:** "So would you ask your partner to babysit your kids?"

 **LB:** “That’s a matter of course.”

 **CN:** “We coordinate schedules with everything else. Our spouses would appreciate having extra help to offset the extra complications.”

 **A:** “That must be a real crowded marriage.”

 **LB** : We’ll make it work, won't we, Chat?”

That’s it. Alya comes to a decision. She’ll do it. Her heroic duo might feel betrayed when she decides to pursue a private detail of their lives when they have already been more than generous with their hints, but she has to do it. It is her duty to her viewers.

“Okay,” she says. “I’ve been noticing something in our conversation. And I’m not the only one. People are already making assumptions, judging from the storm of reactions I’m receiving. It’s my job to ask difficult questions and I think it's time for me to address the elephant in the room. Tell me the truth: are you married?”

Ladybug shrugs. Her “yes” is nearly swallowed by her little laugh.

Chat Noir takes a deep breath, before adding, “Yes.”

“To each other?” Alya presses. “Or to a civilian?”

“I’m sorry to get your hopes up, Alya,” Ladybug says, sounding quite regretful. “But my spouse is a civilian.”

“Likewise,” Chat Noir says. “I’m married to an extraordinary woman. A civilian though.”

  
  
Alya feels their words stab through the center of her chest, lingering there as if to make sure she feels them, before they twist, dig deep to macerate her innards into thick goop. She takes a deep breath in an effort to clear this, in an effort to obtain air for speech.

“Okay,” she says.

And just like that, her childhood OTP is destroyed.

She probably spaces out for a few heartbeats, as she can't remember why her director is gesticulating his hands wildly behind the superheroes, face distraught.

Oh, this probably going to join her list of _‘things I can’t deal and lose my cool_ ’ moments.

Alya Cesaire is not going to faint, or suffer a mental infarct in a worldwide stream of her show.

_Dammit._

"I think we all need a moment to collect--” It takes all of her strength to keep her voice from cracking. “---digest all we've learned so far tonight.”

Thank goodness she has glasses on; the glare will hide her welling eyes.

“ We'll be back for more of... Our intimate conversation with the miraculous duo after these messages from our sponsors.”

To spare herself and the public from the indignity of a sobbing fit, Alya bolts from the set.


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _UNbreaAaak my heaaAaart, SAaaay you’ll loooove me agaAain._

Alya doesn't make it.

Her knees give way, her face crumples behind her damp palms. She almost collapses to the floor, before a sturdy arm stops her from crashing against the toilet door.

“Hey, babe.” Nino soothes, his warm hands rubbing the sides of her arms. “It’s okay. It’s fine.”

She shakes her head over and over. No, she’s not okay. She will never be okay. She’s dying. She can’t breathe. Please bring her remains to the nearest crematorium. This is the worst thing that has ever happened in her life. She can never believe in true love ever again.

“As amusing as your snot-muffled monologue is, Alya, I think ‘ _I’ll never believe in true love again_ ’ is a real downer, considering that we’re getting married six months from now?”

“I love you so much.” She wailed, clawing on his shoulder, her manicured fingers marking his expensive suit. His gentle smile only makes her a little more hysterical, and when he kisses her forehead, she can't help smearing the last of her rouge on his dress shirt.

“Sorry.”

She winces. Even her hiccup mid-apology is horrible.

“I can use my coat to cover the stains. However, you--” He laughs. His thumb wipes the edges of her eyes. “--only got about three minutes to freshen up.”

“Thank God for waterproof mascara.”

“Me too. Just reapply your makeup.” He hands her kit to her with a grin. “I’ll stand guard.”

After four deep inhalations through her mouth (her nose is too clogged at the moment), a quick reapplication of her foundation and blush-on, and a minute-long staring contest with the mirror, Alya regains her composure.  

She emerges from the bathroom and glances with a ‘ _do i look ok?_ ’ eyebrow-lift at Nino.

Nino gives her an encouraging thumbs up. “Like a goddess.”

“Better be back on set, then.”

Alya can do this.

She can _weep_ about this later. Her turbulent emotions are not important right now--a show needs her to continue. She has a strict work ethic to maintain. Her brain begins to compartmentalize and edit a new set of questions in order to accommodate this new development.

A trickle of warmth seeps through her clammy chest when Ladybug approaches her first with a cold glass of water.

“Alya?” Her favorite heroine is concerned for her well-being, and heavens, how lucky is Alya to even have the opportunity to be her personal spokesperson in nearly all media? Her histrionics seem silly, now that she realizes that, of all people, she should be happiest that this wonderful person has finally found her happiness.

“Really, you shouldn’t worry about me.” Alya accepts the glass, before taking a generous sip. “I’m just being ridiculous. Besides, the show’s nearly finished. Go ahead, Ladybug, I'll follow you.”

She looks at the flashing projector monitoring her viewers reactions, and her throat tightens at the various images collected by her social media manager:  
  


The last tweet was an invigorating slap to her face. If there’s one thing that Alya’s proud of, it’s that her work prioritizes in reiterating that the so-called invincible heroes of Paris are merely normal people as well. Granted that her show began as an investigation of their true identities, she still knew that Ladybug and Chat Noir never outright lie to her questions, only decline to answer them if they are too incriminating.

If this is what they want for the world to focus on--this wonderful event that has just happened in their lives---instead of some looming evil threatening their world, then she’ll oblige them.

Alya makes her way back to her seat, just as the director signals the end of the commercial break. Chat Noir stops nudging Ladybug, Alya supposes, about her state of mind and turns a rueful smile at her. Alya does her best to return it.

Chat Noir reaches over and taps her shoulder with a pawed hand. Alya finds that she can try even harder and, by the time the cameras start rolling again, her smile no longer feels like cardboard cut out from her face.

Akuma possessions are no longer as prevalent these days, unlike before Hawk Moth's famous defeat, when it had been an everyday occurrence. But its threat has always affected Parisians, and long years of being subjected to the destructive sequelae of anger have gifted the citizens an empathy that is uncommon in a city of their size and their diversity. It has become standard protocol for someone to assist another in emotional distress. Even for a stranger seen in some street corner, most Parisians’ instinctive response is to immediately provide emotional support and counseling in order to avoid another possession. An ounce of prevention is always better than a pound of cure, as the old maxim goes.

It will be easy to dismiss the kindness of the people around her as such, as a knee-jerk reaction to an old problem. No, Alya reminds herself, kindness is kindness. Ladybug, Chat Noir, and least of all her Nino, don't deserve to be second guessed for their concern for her.

A small clip of their previous discussion before the break goes on air for a moment, with additional dramatic flairs and close-up shots. The screen dims to black and returns to a wide panoramic shot of brightly-lit Paris and their relaxed positions.

Alya leans in with a grin, a hand cradling her chin.

  
**A:** “So.”

 **LB:** (quiet smile)

 **CN:** (loud laugh)

 **A:** “Married?”

 **LB:** “Yes.”

 **A:** “You wouldn’t mind me hitting you with questions for you to elaborate?”

 **CN:** “We can take a few hard punches from you, Ms. Césaire.”

  
**A:** “Was it an indoor or outdoor wedding?”

 **LB:** “Outdoors, afternoon.”

 **CN:** “Indoors, early morning.”

  
**A:** “Ladybug, did you know Chat was married?”

 **LB:** “Yes.”

 **A:** “How about you, Chat?”

 **CN:** “Yes.”

  
**A:** “Who knew first?”

 **LB:** “It comes up in our conversations. So we both knew at about the same time.”

 **A:** “Who got married first?”

 **CN:** “We didn’t ask.”

  
**A:** “The priest says ‘ _I now pronounce you married. Would you please seal your vows with a kiss_.’ Who moved first?”

 **LB:** “I did.”

 **CN:** “My bride.”

  
They are giving her rapid, ambiguous answers for her grilling questions now. She’s taking advantage of the opportunity, especially since they seem more open to talking about their married lives. Something no other news anchor or news network, no matter how highly celebrated, can actually get from the elusive heroes.

 _Damn_ , Ladybug and Chat Noir are married.  
  
And they chose to divulge this valuable information tonight.

On the tenth anniversary of her show, at the special episode that celebrated her career and achievements.

 _Focus, Alya_ . Her eyes are tingling again, her heart deeply touched by their kindness. _Keep asking, Alya._

  
**A :** “So, for real, do you have families?”

 **LB:** “Like our own kids? None.”

 **CN:** “Yup. No children yet.”

   
**A:** “Can you spare us some honeymoon details?”

 **CN:** “We were too busy. After the wedding, we just went home to our new flat, and christened it. ”

 **A:** (chokes off-cam) “ _Chat!”_

 **CN:** “This is a late night show. Kids shouldn’t be up?”

 **LB:** “Honestly, mine wasn’t that exciting. I celebrated it by spending two weeks of our alleged _honeymoon_ , which was really a nightmare of a work business trip in upstate New York.”

 **CN:** “That’s still quite fancy, Ladybug.”

 **LB:** “Not if I have to spend days poking and prodding and explaining things to people that aren't my husband.”

 **CN:** “I’m surprised, Ladybug. I thought you find him _purr_ fect, that you're never left wanting with the way he spoils you? Why are you complaining of this neglect right now for the whole world to hear?”

 **LB:** (grunts) “Fine, I just miss him, I guess.”  
  


 

 **A:** “That means, the happiest day of your life was your wedding, Ladybug.”

 **LB:** “Yes.”

 **A:** (a shrewd look) “Your flower girl tripped on a Chat Noir doll?”

 **CN:** “My proxy does a good representation. Girls do always trip head over heels for me.”

 **A:** “Chat, you’re still flirting! What would your wife say?”

 **CN:** “Believe it or not, Miss Cesaire, but my wife knew LB first before I did. They’re good friends.”

 **LB:** (laughs) “Really?”

 **CN:** “Yup. So she wouldn't mind. She knows exactly what I mean by it. So she isn't offended--if she is, she hasn't told me and let me tell you my wife speaks her mind. She's a formidable woman and I am in awe of her.”

 **A:** (looks at her vibrating phone.) “Oh God.”

 **CN:** (smirking) “They’re blowing up again?”

 **A:** “You just released thousands of ships, Chat.”

**A:** “This is a disaster, Chat.”

 **CN:** “I’m the manifestation of bad luck. Comes with the package.”

 **A:** “I find it hardly believable that there’s someone more formidable than Ladybug.”

 **CN:** (laughs hard) “You’ll love to meet her.”

  
**A:** “How about you, Ladybug? What quality would endear your husband to trust Chat? Aside from being your partner who always got your back? Describe their small talk.”

 **LB:** “You mean what will Chat and my husband talk about?”

 **CN:** (looks at LB) “Is he half-good at puns?”

 **LB:** “He is just as terrible with them. I’ll probably end up with a pun on my gravestone.”

 **A:** “So who’ll out do the other in a pun contest?”

 **LB:** “I’ll probably be dead before either of them quits.”

  
**A:** “You have to pick a winner.”

 **LB:** “My husband is subtle in his puns. Chat gets horrible after the midnight patrol. I'll side with my husband.”

 **CN:** “What a night this is. You just keep on stabbing me in this interview.”

 **A:** “Do you think your other half is watching right now?

 **CN:** “I can absolutely guarantee you she has heard and seen everything that has transpired so far in this interview.”

 **A:** “How about you, Ladybug?”

 **LB:** “Oh, he's probably watching. He always waits for me to come home before he sleeps. He’s a cuddler, you see.”

  
**A:** “Okay, Chat, the whole world knows that you’ve been chasing Ladybug for a long time. I’ve been documenting evidence for years. And now, we learn that you're married? This is really surprising.”

 **CN:** (roguish smirk) “I knew that you're gonna ask that.”

 **A:** “You know me well, Chat Noir. When did this happen?”

 **CN:** “I honestly can't pinpoint when it happened. It's just something that I was always seeing--no, here's a better analogy. I've always sensed it, but never perceived it until I looked the right ways. I guess until I gained the maturity to recognize it and appreciate it.”

 **A:** “Interesting. Did that make you realize weren't in love with Ladybug after all?”

 **CN:** “I think it's more complicated than that. My relationship with my spouse simply evolved to what it is now. Same thing happened with Ladybug over time. It's not a matter of choosing one over the other. It's... they play different roles in my life the same way I play different roles in theirs.”

 **A:** “That was shockingly profound.”

 **LB:** “People underestimate Chat. It works to our favor.”

 **CN:** (softly) “It’s fun being Chat Noir. From the start, Ladybug is the superstar, so the expectation is all on her. She's awfully brave, if you think about. Bravest woman in the planet. It's almost a relief.”

 **LB:** “Chat.” (warningly)

 **CN:** “I'm just the comic relief and, as established earlier, useless eyecandy.”

 **A:** “Yes, Chat. Put a stopper on it. Her husband might deck you.”

 **CN:** “Please. Her husband is a gentleman. He understands exactly where I'm coming from.”

 **A:** “Wait, so does this mean you know who her husband is?”

 **CN:** “She talks about him nonstop so I might as well have.”

 **LB:** “You make me sound like a lovesick--”

 **CN:** “Admit it, LB. You're absolutely smitten with him.”

 **A:** “He sounds amazing then, Ladybug. Even Chat Noir approves.”

 **LB:** “It took awhile to convince him. I had to knock it into his stubborn cat head that he is worthy of approval.”

 **CN:** “My lady doesn't suffer fools easily. You know that.”

 **A:** “People thought you were just kidding. From what I can see of my feed, you're breaking a lot of shippers with this news. A few minutes after this revelation, and we have already an in-defense of LadyNoir video.”

  
**A:** “And I know Chat knows a lot about shipping essays, and I think you already got one:”

  
**LB:** “Wow.”

 **A:** “You've always known that they exist. There are a lot of fanarts and fanfics. I remember that you've read some of them in our past interviews.”

 **LB:** (snaps her fingers, excited) “Yeah, I remembered that puberty fic that you made me read! But I preferred the thriller types.”

 **A:** “And Chat loved the fluffy ones.”

 **CN:** “What can I say---I'm a very romantic man.”

  
**A:** “So what would you say to your shippers?”

 **CN:** “I honestly can't say I wish it didn't turn out this way, but I can thank them from the bottom of my heart. Ladybug and I are far from perfect singly, but I think we're perfect partners. It's simply that we found perfect life partners in other people--who aren't perfect people either, of course. But they are perfect for us. I hope you can be happy for us. It doesn't mean love is dead. Quite the contrary.”

 **A :** “Well, there's still AU?” (giggles)  “But I'm absolutely glad for the both of you.”

 **CN:** “You know what they say, some ships sink, some get _canon_.”

 **A:** (squints) “I don’t know if I should be worried about your domestic life with puns like that, Chat Noir.”

 **LB:** (rolls eyes) “I won’t save your life once your wife decides to skin you alive.”

 **CN:** “Fine, leave my poor wife as a widow.”

 **LB:** “I’m sure she’ll be more than capable of living for herself.”

  
**A:** “Second to the last question, do they know about your...nightly activities?”

 **CN:** “You mean, do they know our real identities?”

 **A:** “Yes. Do they know _this_? “

 **LB:** “I can’t say, Alya. I’ll not disclose that information. Aside from the obvious need for secrecy, I don’t want a sudden witch hunt to consume the city. We’ll have people claiming they know certain information or people accusing other people of doing so. Someone just happened to marry a superhero. It's not fair to subject them to something like that. Even worse, what if it's mistaken identity?”

 **A:** “But you can’t control that. People would like to know if the person who’s actually sitting beside them is secretly swinging on top of the city roofs. Especially now, learning that your better half is probably in constant danger while keeping Paris safe.”

Ladybug pauses, before huffing a breath that ruffles her short fringe. One side of her lips pull upward, and her bright blue gaze lock on Alya’s confused hazel eyes.

 **LB:** (smiles) “We can’t always keep our identities as a secret. And if there’s someone who deserves to know the truth, it’s the people who unconditionally love us for who we are, with or without the mask.”

The heroine shakes her head, as if simply leaving the matter to fate, then beams at Alya.

 **LB:** “One day, they’ll ask me about the truth, and I won’t be able to lie. But I just want them to know that I’m lucky to have them in my life.”

It’s strange. Ladybug’s bright-blue eyes has always been intense, but to have its full intensity directed at you is disorienting. Alya feels that Ladybug is probably conveying some hidden message with her lingering gaze, but for the life of her, Alya can't decipher it. _What?_ she silently asks the heroine. And then the moment drifts away and the show must go on.

 **A:** “Capping off tonight, I want to end this with a high note. Ladybug, Chat Noir, we've been together for ten years, in a mutual symbiotic sort of way. Please tell me, what's the one question that I have failed to ask, but I should have raised?”

 **LB** : “Has the Ladyblog been more helpful or more of a nuisance over the years?"

 **CN:** “How have I done so far as the third member of Team Miraculous?”

  
“Oh.”

Alya is already too weak, already worn thin by all of the revelations today, to even hold back the next words that squeaks out of her mouth:

“I _can’t_...”

Ladybug and Chat Noir is family to her. For them to acknowledge how equally important she is to them mean the world to Alya. On top of that, they treat her like their unruly sister, they call her part of their team...

And to the delight of everyone on set, her fiancé runs to her side and comes to her rescue.

“Thank you,” Alya manages when he thrusts a box of tissues into her hands.

Her audience squeals when their hands meet for that brief moment, his fingers lingering over hers, no doubt magnified by the camera man for all the world to see.

Man, it seems like everyone is just ganging up on Alya.

“That’s already twice tonight.” Nino rolls his eyes before laughing hard. “Stop making her cry, you losers, or I’ll fight you.”

“Such a gallant knight!” Chat offers his paw for a handshake. “Championing his lady with such aplomb.”

Ladybug rises as well, coming to stand by Alya’s right side, snickering. “Chat, sometimes you just have a way with words.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice, my lady.” Chat winks at her.

Nino is just about to retreat back off-cam, when he's suddenly pulled by the arm and turned to face the camera directly.  

“And hey!” Chat pats a bewildered Nino on his shoulder enthusiastically. Alya too can't help but laugh through the tears as Nino first follows the hand that did the said patting before training the pure, wide-eyed admiration in his eyes at Chat Noir, _official superhero of Paris_ , disbelieving the amiable treatment.

“Since all we’ve talked about tonight are the joys of matrimony,” Chat addresses the audience with a satisfied, catty grin. “I’d like to offer congratulations to Mlle.Cesaire and her sweetheart.”

Ladybug claps her hands, butt wiggling, which the crowd fortunately doesn’t see, as they follow the declaration with hoots and cheers.

“Why,” stutters Alya. “How? My engagement was a private affair--”

“But that rock on your fingers isn’t. And,” Chat nudges to the soon-to-be groom, as he rubs his nose with his other paw. “End of the year, right?”

“You’re so great, man.” Nino whispers, still overwhelmed. “I don’t know what to say.”

“How about we invite them to our wedding, hm?” Alya cackles as she takes Ladybug’s arm by looping a hand around her elbow.

“I...” To Alya’s dismay, Ladybug’s ecstatic expression becomes crestfallen. “I can’t go.”  

“Chat?”

Apparently, the affianced pair might have spooked the cat, as his tail goes straight-up, then lashes back and forth. He replies quickly.

“I'm sorry to break it like this, but I'm actually standing as best man in a wedding, so I have to turn you down”

“Just appear at the reception then?” Alya pouts. “It'll be a nice wedding gift.”

”Maybe I'll make an appearance just to have a dance with the bride.” Chat places a tentative claw under his chin, considering the offer.

”You're just gonna gorge yourself at the dessert table.” Ladybug snorts.

”I would have already done that at my best buddy's wedding.”

”Your stomach is a black hole.”

”As long as the food doesn't reach past my event horizon, it won't get sucked into my black hole. Why don’t you show up earlier and scout the place? Keep me away from the buffet tables?”

“I can ask my best friend to make those Chat Noir shaped macaroons for you.” Alya suggests with a smile. “Dupain-Cheng Patisserie, one of the show’s sponsors, does the catering for my cake and sweets. How did you know I’ll have buffet tables at my wedding, anyway?”

“Uh, you're a famous reporter.” His tail goes still. “Of course, it's more practical to have a buffet where the guests can circulate among themselves instead of a formal dinner served in courses?”

“Maybe,” Ladybug enunciates her vowels longer, coy. “ I’ll drop in… if you save me a dance too, Alya?”

”Always! You’re my honorary bridesmaid, you know?” Alya is unable to resist any longer and wraps her arms around the spotted hero with a grin. “Maybe that’s going to be included on the next installment?”

“That’ll be quite an episode.” Ladybug squeezes her tight before releasing her hold on Alya. “But it’s already way past your slot time. We’d better go!”

”Wait, there’s an afterparty!” Nino appeals as they move to the balustrade.

“No, it’s okay,” Alya whispers to Nino, nudging him silent. “I’ll explain it to you later.” Then she waves her hands to say goodbye.

“ _Salut_ , Ladybug! Chat Noir!”

And they vault off to the welcoming night.

* * *

   
And that concludes our special tenth anniversary episode for Alya’s Take.

I hope you enjoyed our company tonight.

Until next time!

**[fin]**

 

 

 

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[jk.]

[not yet. pls wait.]

[EPILOGUE]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we'll update the epilogue as soon as we both got some decent sleep. [brb after 12 hrs]  
> 


	4. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LadyNoir is not canon. 
> 
> Sorry.

**THE  
** IMPACT OF POST-REVEAL **  
** **LADYNOIR INCIDENT**

June 16, 2024  
Sunday, Le Grand Palais,  
Alya’s Take, Season 10,  episode 25

* * *

 

-

[collected stream of reactions from twitter.]

  
  
[ the most famous post-reveal fic in the ladynoir fandom.]

[the following are the most selected songs for post-reveal ladynoir : fan soundtrack playlist ]

[ **Unbreak My Heart** \- Toni Braxton ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dp2Rch6WvPJE&t=NmM0ZWZjNWFhNDExNGNhOTkyMjU3NmQ1Mjc5MmM5NmY4NDE1OGQxYixzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D) [Jagged Stone Cover]

[ **Someone Like You** \- Adele ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhLQl3WQQoQ0&t=Y2FmNWZmYjBmMjlhOGYyMmZmNTliN2Q2MDE0ZjQ4OGQ3MTI5M2M4NSxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **25 Minutes Too Late** \- Michael Learns To Rock ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DSIWcOdBtLRw&t=MzUwYmRmNGU1M2JmOGNkNzE2OWM2ZjIyZGE5MzVlMzE0ZWRhYmViNyxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **I Don’t Have The Heart** \- James Ingram ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dd3cY7TLGwR0&t=MmEyYzI4OWE3ZWY1ZDg5MmEzZGZkNzYxZTllMGU1NjEyNDdlNWRlOCxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **Someday We’ll Know** \- New Radicals ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DbDmA8qQKhMY&t=NGU4MzI0YWEwMmY2ODNlOWQ5MGVhMDQ1M2U3YWMxZTRlZDA1MmM0YSxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **I Can’t Make You Love Me** \- Bonnie Raitt ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DnW9Cu6GYqxo&t=MjYzYjBmNThiM2U1ZTRlZWFhZTQ2MjlhYTJhNzA1NzRkNTA3ZjZhNSxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **How Can I Fall** \- Breathe ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DPwZ4erdJZRA&t=ZThjYWVjMTAxZThhOTkxMWUyOTI5YjEzMzAyODQ1YzJkNDE1ZmQ4OCxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **Hello (From the Other Side)** \- Adele ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DYQHsXMglC9A&t=Yjc4MjEwY2M1ZDhjNmZjM2Q1MTliYmQ2ZDZmNDViYTYwNWNjMGU0MCxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **Story of Us** \- Taylor Swift ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DnN6VR92V70M&t=YzhhNTEwZDU1NjkyODJhNDRhN2Q5MzJlNzhkMWJkZDBhYzhhZmExNixzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **I Will Always Love You** \- Whitney Houston ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D3JWTaaS7LdU&t=ZDJmZTZlNDQ2ZWEyOThlZjg2ZGI0ZWY4MDI5ZGEzYTc4NGUyMDljMyxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **This Masquerade** \- George Benson ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dg-ibK5L2a4I&t=ZmQ3YWM3YTliNmMyYjk4ZTUwZTI1ZTkzNjJmMmFhNDE2YWM4N2YwZCxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **Not Over You** \- Gavin Degraw ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DvDWhfsQHq1o&t=YmRiYzE0MzdhZWNmODUzYThhOTI2NDk3NzY0ZmM3NTI0NmQ5NTQyOSxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **Yesterday Once More** \- The Carpenters ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DYTaWayUE5XA&t=MTBmMWZjNzhlMzBlYTQ5NjI3ZjNkNjMxYjk4MjBmMDFmMGRmZmVkOSxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **I’ll Never Get Over You Get Over Me** \- Expose ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZmGvo-2Jnaw&t=MTQwYmRhZDBhN2VmMWVjMDRkYzdjYzk5NjE4ODJlNGJhMTQyOWUyNSxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[ **If You’re Not The One** \-  Daniel Bedingfield ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DsKZogDV7Gj0&t=OWNlY2JlMmFmOTExYjBjZjE2MTk5YjgwZDY3MTdjYjc5ODA3YzQ1NyxzcjRUWnVFbw%3D%3D)

[most reblogged fan theory/ship manifesto, with _65,437 notes_ , within a month after _Alya’s Take_.]

[alya’s addressed the fandom a week after her monumental interview,which can be seen in _alya-reflects-ontakes.tumblr.com_ on a friday night]

* * *

 

 **June 21, 2024**  
  
Hey!  
  
It’s been a hard week for everyone.

But I do think there’s a reason why they gave us those groundbreaking revelations on the 10th anniversary. As Tubby ([@tubbstheconsumer](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwaha&t=OGNlZWJmMTI3NzYwNzdkODIxMWU1NGQxZGIwYTk5ZTI4MTQyYTIzYSxYTVRPOE1Mbg%3D%3D) , HEY! how’s your fic going? I’m still waiting ) said in her account, I do think it’s a way to reassure us that they’re going to be okay.

While Ladyblog will always be the source for all news involving our favorite heroes, let us not forgot how this blog was first founded with one purpose: to uncover their identities. Let us remember how with the distinctive terror and havoc that Hawk Moth caused before his defeat, all of us have agreed for everyone’s safety to discourage the investigation. We didn’t want to give him any opening to destroy our only chance of survival.

Today, after a week of sorting out my thoughts, I finally realized that I had originally created this blog because of an unhealthy obsession to uncover something that might hurt my… no, our dearest friend, fellow Miraculers. Looking back through years of breaking news and exclusives, I’m ecstatic to be reminded of how the site evolved with a better, higher purpose:  to chronicle, to be living account of their adventures, from their birth, to their glorious victory over our common enemy, to their assumption of the vanguard.

I can no longer pinpoint when it was, but at some point, Ladybug’s identity ceased to matter anymore to me. Because Ladybug is someone larger than life, a deity we all can’t help put on a high pedestal, and it would be unfair to her civilian counterpart to put her in that same place, when she deserves to live her normal life. We should strive to give her as much of this normalcy as possible.  

The fact that they were willing to disclose that amount of information last Sunday was a sign of trust - not only to me, but to the entire world. They believe that we will be responsible enough not to probe further on who they were. It’s quite naive of them to do that, but we know where their hearts are. We know them. (And their answers were very vague to begin with. If anyone’s decided to delve further into this matter, good luck, I’ve tried.) Besides, I think that night was first time they were relaxed enough to finally share a bit of themselves. Don’t you think that’s a great thing? Again, it is in our hands to protect our beloved heroes, as they have painstakingly risked their lives for us.

I don’t think that they ever did discourage the LadyNoir fans (and other ships, crack or not. so keep your ship wars to a minimum.) If you think about it, Ladybug and Chat have been generous with them! They’ve even read fics, commented on the fanarts and meta-essays. (Either with their official accounts or as your stalkers :P)

Most of you have written and drawn fictional stories and moments about _real_ people for _years_. They have never deprived you this place - the fandom - where you are welcome to build relationships and breed creativity, from fics, fanarts, and even memes (which Chat, the dork, actually loves the most) because they know it’s fiction. No one is stopping you from continuing your multi-chaptered fanfics and amazing fanarts. Ladybug and Chat are happy to serve as your muses. Let’s just not forget the real people, living real lives, behind your inspirations.

Besides, LadyNoir has always been an AU fic from the start.

If all the failed OTPs and fandoms of the past — the Zutara, the NaruSaku, the IchiRuki, and the Harmonies — still exist now, we too are going to be alright.

LadyNoir still lives on. Don’t let it die.

* * *

 

 **  
**June 17, 2024 at 02:44 AM  
_Alya's Take After Party_

For being the celebrant, Alya Césaire is notably silent throughout the party celebrating the tenth anniversary of her own show. It isn't that the party is boring; one of most coveted DJ’s in the Îll-de-France region is in charge of both the song list and emceeing. Even now, food and champagne still overflow from the kitchen and the bar, all the opulent details having been mandated by an avid patron in anticipation of a certain polkadotted heroine’s attendance. Chloé Bourgeois herself is absent, perhaps mourning the revelations of the night in her way, in private.

Alya isn't mourning. She doesn’t think she is, doesn't feel the despair and bone-aching loss she had a glimpse of earlier. She can't help but brood on the matter, however, as the special episode played in loop on all the TVs of the poolside bar area, muted but subtitled. Alya had finally left the indoor lounge area where the episode is also on loop, but with the sounds on and with the selected tweets, status updates, reddits, and tumblr reblogs scrolling at the sides and bottom of the 50-inch screen. She is sitting now in the rearranged sitting area where she had interviewed the duo earlier, watching her Nino groove nearby in between glancing at the blue shimmer of the pool water against the white walls.

For the last hour of the party, Nino has taken over the turntable, playing Alya’s favorite songs,  in her preferred arrangements no less, waving or sending flying smooches her way. He is extra gentle and understanding tonight, even taking over the socializing that she should have been doing. She smiles at him, at nothing really, when one of Jagged Stone’s hits plays, the one that defines all of what LadyNoir means to Alya.

Nino joins her after the party officially ends, sitting beside her on the couch that earlier sat Ladybug and Chat Noir. They watch the hotel staff clean up in silence. The doors to the indoor lounge are left open now to make it easier for the staff to move things back and forth the porter elevators. The interview still loops on the television there, Alya's own voice, interspersed with the steady voice of Ladybug and the more excitable one of Chat, wafts out into the small hours of the cooling summer night.

“Wouldn't have it been awesome if Adrien and Mari made it?” Nino says. “It'll still be a shame though, since Ladybug and Chat Noir couldn't stay for the party.”

“Yeah,” Alya agrees. “I really wanted Mari and Ladybug to finally meet. I mean, seriously, what kind of luck does that girl have that through ten years there is always something happening with her, elsewhere, that keeps her from meeting Ladybug. I don't get it.”

Nino chuckles. “But imagine how awkward it would be for Ladybug, meeting Adrien after choosing Jagged Stone over him. And admitting she had more or less gotten over her celebrity crush for him.”

“Please. They didn't even know they crushed on each other. But can you just imagine? Adrien and Mari are like the biggest Stoners. They'd probably end up fangirling with Ladybug and Chat Noir. It would have been the most ridiculous thing.”

“You know what the weird thing is, babe? Adrien’s been rescued by Chat Noir and Ladybug several times before. I've seen him with Ladybug in your video clips, but I've never seen him with Chat Noir.”

Alya frowns. “I've always thought it's because Ladybug beats Chat to it. Since Chat is so proud of his looks, it makes sense if he tries to avoid the de facto hottie of Paris.”

Nino shakes his head even as he leans closer and drapes an arm over his girl. “My point is, Chat Noir could have totally taken advantage of his link to Adrien. He obviously knows Ladybug used to crush on Adrien, but he never went there. You know what I'm saying?”

“Ugh!” Alya half-heartedly shoves at her fiancé. “Nino.”

“What?” Nino stares at her in confusion. “Babe--”

“I already can't get it out of my head as it is,” Alya bemoans. “Then you just had to go and remind me of how perfect they actually are for each other!”

“Can't get what out who?”

“That one tweet that said that it was only a ploy. And now that I’ve watched the whole thing completely, I can't get over how their answers complemented each other so well. They just _belong_ together. I can't--”

“I know you hate it when I play devil's advocate. But hear me out, babe.”

“I know! I KNOW!” Alya grouses. “I know it's just wishful thinking on my part. I know I'm rationalizing things to fit my own wishes but--”

Alya stops abruptly. A pair of shadows catches her eye. What stands out most is that unlike the decreasing presence of the roving staff members, these figures are still.

“I thought they couldn't make it.”

“Who?” Nino asks.

"Ladybug and Chat."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"There. Remember I told you Chat Noir is way too tired and that Ladybug is probably pushing him to go home and rest?"  
  
"Yeah, he looks like he's about to fall over when he's not busy acting like he has enough energy for a marathon."

As Alya strains at the newcomers, the drone of the interview video continues, _“Can you spare us some honeymoon details?”_

The two figures stand in front of the white wall from earlier, the reflection of the pool water making them surreal. The one with the pointy ears, presumably Chat, suddenly pulls against Ladybug’s arm, just as she skips the opposite way to avoid the overfilled food trolley barreling their way. The sudden opposing force of her movement should have knocked Chat off balanced. Instead, with practiced ease, Ladybug steps on the ball of her right foot, bouncing back to where her left foot was left. Chat Noir meets and steadies her with both hands to the waist. Ladybug finds her balance by clutching at his shoulders first before lifting one hand to pull down the cat’s ears and fix his unruly hair.

...pull down the cat’s ears?  Like a hood?

_“The flower girl almost trips on a Chat Noir doll,” Ladybug says._

Marinette once told her that when Manon isn't around being her pesky teenage self, going on and on about her theater woes or begging for her former babysitter to design clothes for her guild’s marionettes, the Manon in her mind reverts back to being her pesky six-year-old self, begging Mari to allow her to take home the Ladybug and Chat Noir dolls.

_“The crying red nosed groom,” Ladybug says._

Nino had once told her the truth behind the snivelling, red-face Adrien when Mari, who was quite a vision as a bride, emerged from behind the ancient cathedral doors. Apparently, he had a moderately bad allergic reaction to the flowers decorating his church wedding.

_“Outside, afternoon.” Ladybug answers.  
“Indoors, early morning” Chat Noir follows up, _

It is not uncommon for couples to have two weddings; the civil ceremonies are usually held at the city hall, followed by subsequent church ones. Adrien and Mari had their civil ceremony amidst the last of the crimson azaleas and the beginning buds of the lavender wisteria in a small charming garden within the city hall grounds. It is usually open to public on weekends, but was closed for a few hours one Saturday last May as a favor to the former Mayor Bourgeois.

Presently, the _always_ tardy couple comes to full view as the food trolley ambles away, once more unobstructing the full force of lighting around the pool area.

Alya is losing her mind.

Even from their distance, it's obvious why Adrien Agreste had to bail out of the party. He yawns and stretches hugely (limbs splayed out, no muscle unused) before he attempts to pull his hoodie back in place. His companion takes his hand instead and tugs him to where Nino and Alya are sitting. Adrien drops back to a boneless state, a wildflower hunched over from lack of sun or water, and staggers after the woman. Marinette Dupain-Cheng, dressed in a light leather jacket of sienna red and closely cut black jeans, turns once more as if to primp her forlorn flower pet. Even now that they're both standing closer, Alya can see why she initially thought her guests of honor had returned for the _after_ after party. The slim young man is obviously hamming it up, pouting forlornly at his partner, even as he shoves a hand under his glasses and rubs an eye. The lithe young woman tuts him into stillness, takes his spectacles and cleans it on his shirt. Now, Adrien is polite but usually reticent, as if careful to not call attention to himself, and Marinette isn't someone one will normally call graceful, and yet here they are moving in concert, moving with such knowing ease in response to the other.

How did she miss this?

“Hey, buddy!” Nino calls out, verily launching himself from where he is ensconced with Alya and sprinting to where his best friend is. “Nice of you to drop by.”

_Chat’s downtrodden frown upturns instantly._

Adrien’s wilted posture instantly perks up, his smile lighting up even the darkening ruts under his green eyes, rescuing his complexion from its ashen cast. The worry emanating from Marinette seem to drop away just as the two friends quickly embraced.

“Wouldn't have missed it for the world, man!” Adrien is saying as Nino moves to exchange greetings with Mari. “I told you I’d catch up!”

“Alya said you had to have dinner with your father like straight out of the airport. Hope it wasn’t too awkward?”

“Well, it is Father’s Day… And you know how Father adores my lovely bride. For good reason, of course.”

“You guys were making out, weren't you? Like in the car on the way here?”

“Excuse us, we walked,” Marinette says primly.

“Made out in shadowy street corners, then. Or had quickies in haunted little alcoves.”

“Nino!” Alya strangles in spite of herself. “That's my best friend you're talking about!”

“You walked? Haven't you had enough of that the entire week?”

“We missed walking around Paris after all the walking we did in New York City,” Adrien says with a catty grin. “Actually, we belatedly took up Chloé’s offer of a room. It wasn't a bad walk to the elevators.”

_“Not if I have to spend days poking and prodding and explaining things to people that aren't my husband.”_

Oh, Alya thinks. New York Fashion week. Mari had told her that Adrien walked for a few fashion houses, then fulfilled some shooting assignments Nathalie has squeezed in so they can have a longer break after. Mari herself worked with the Gabriel entourage, prepping the models through all of the events and making last minute adjustments on the clothes.

“Congratulations, Mademoiselle Césaire.”

_Chat Noir bends a little from his waist and kisses her knuckles._

Ever the gentleman, Adrien shakes Alya’s hand and waits for her to initiate a quick hug and exchange of kisses. Alya stops him as he moves away, sniffing.

“You smelled that too, babe?” Nino says, an insinuating smile playing on his lips. “They probably did more than make out in this hotel’s honeymoon suite, just a couple of floors below where we are now. How dare you betray my feisty Alya?”

Adrien smells of fresh cucumber and melons, a hint of musk, and unmistakably a generous dose of muguet blossoms. He wouldn't have ordinarily been caught in such a casual attire in a public place, with his jeans and shirt, with his hair loose under the hoodie, instead of its usual small but neat ponytail. His expression is mysterious, eyes vivid but undecipherable, as he hands Alya over to his wife of three weeks.

“Alya,” Marinette greets her with a soft smile. “Sorry we're late.”

Like her husband, Mari looks quite exhausted, with locks of dark hair starting to escape from the single braid coiled atop her head. She stays quite still as Alya kisses her soundly on both cheeks then pulls her to a hearty hug. Alya inhales deeply, a little less conspicuous than what she did with Adrien. Marinette smells of the dewy blossoms of the lily-of-the-valley.

Marinette smells like Ladybug. Maybe they have the same perfume. Thousands of Parisian women, women all over the world must wear the scent of a common flower. And yet…

“ _God_ ,” Alya gasps, hands trembling as she grips Mari’s arms tightly. How could she be so _blind_ ? All this time? _Why..._

“Why _now_?”

“ _Now?_ Aside from it’s safer with the threat almost gone?” Green eyes gleam, comparable to a cat calculating the risk before making a leap. “Of course, Alya, we owe this to you. You deserve to know.”

“How about Nino? Is it okay for him...” Alya glances at his befuddled ‘ _what?_ ’ expression.

“This was the first lesson we learned to make our relationship work.” Adrien grins, so infuriatingly familiar that Alya wants to scream in horror at why she didn’t realize it sooner. “You can't start your married life with a secret.”

“Besides,” Marinette laughs, smiling through the unshed tears. “This is a better wedding gift, right? Better than another serving tray?”

_One day, they’ll ask me about the truth, and I won’t be able to lie._

“I guess,” Alya admits. “There's no need for you to tell me how it all worked out with that guy, huh, Ladybug?”

_But I just want them to know that I’m lucky to have them in my life._

“You always get the exclusives first, Alya.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see? not canon. 
> 
> thank you for reading this fic! we really enjoyed writing this. 
> 
> and a little gift for a lurking reader.
> 
>  **omake #1 - the telling to nino**  
>  **nino:** oh shit  
>  **alya:** exactly  
>  **nino:** oooh shit! *suddenly and enthusiastically thumps adrien in the back* you da man!  
>  **adrien:** ??? *flowerchild smile* thanks?  
>  **nino:** wow. _chat noir_  
>  **mari:** ahahahaha  
>  **nino:** _chat noir actually scored on ladybug!_  
>  **adri & mari:** ............  
>  **nino:** babe, I owe you an apology  
>  **alya:** that's right. pay up!  
>  **alya:** *breaks 4th wall, faces audience* all of you, pay up!  
>  **non-existent audience:** but we're also ladynoir!  
>  **alya:** doubting thomases!
> 
>  **NOTE:**  
>  Updated attached images last 07/09/2017!  
> If pics are still not showing, please comment below! Thanks!
> 
>  **UPDATE, 11/06/2017:**  
>  For the 500th kudos, we posted a random omake!   
> Check it out here : [LINK](http://peonydee.tumblr.com/post/167187491022/500-kudos-thank-you-aka-random-sixty-minutes)


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